So my Georgian tutor spent half of the last lesson with her talking about her current relationship situation. She had been bride-napped earlier and divorced him two years later, so she has a very cynical view on things, or I at least hope that her view point is not the norm. She was talking about this new boy she was introduced to by a cousin. This new interest is a very warm, friendly, generous, kind-hearted man. He also happens to be divorced. She was talking about how much she liked to see him and spend time with him and how he always looked deeply into her eyes when he would drop her off at her parents apartment and say how happy he was with her. She seems head over heels, no problem with that, except for one thing. His mother’s reputation might not be flawless. Some protective friend of my tutor’s mother told her to “be careful, do not let your daughter be ruined, again”. This friend then told my tutor’s mother that the mother of this boy has seen many men since she was widowed at 24…She was widowed at 24, first of all that is very sad for the woman, but secondly I would hope she could find another man! (Many could also be one man, but they were alone and unmarried, so it is pretty taboo). She needed to either remarry after a respectable amount of mourning time or stay alone until she died. That sounds fairly miserable by my standards. Anyway, so my tutor goes on to talk about how she cannot be with a boy who’s mother has a bad reputation. This is her second and only chance at happiness, and she cannot risk her children growing up with a floozy for a grandmother….So she is going to find out if the rumor about his mother is valid. If it is, she will stop seeing this boy and look for the man with the perfect family, as well as being perfect himself.
During this rant, I sat and nodded. I did not even attempt my usual smile and nod, I could barely restrain myself from interrupting her mid-sentence and telling her I was not coming back again. This is not the first time she has brought up relationships during our lesson. I am uncomfortable listening to her views on the topic. She thinks she does not have many chances to find happiness because she is divorced. It also does not sit well with me that she, and her whole family are so bent on her marrying the family, not just the man. It is not good enough that the two of them seem to be very much in love, but the potential of the mother not being perfect getting in the way of it, I cannot understand it. Her mother is saying how her father would die if he heard this rumor and she continued to see the boy. Why? I cannot understand it and I am rather happy I do not have the same kind of pressures and restraints that she and I am sure other Georgian women have.
It is very uncomfortable for me, but I am sure part of it is she does not have any one to talk to so freely. She always speaks in English so that her family does not over hear her heart aches. I would not have assumed I was that much in her confidence, but I apparently am. Despite my discomfort and the lack of actual learning of Georgian, I will be back next week for the update on her life. In the meantime, I will look for a tutor who might be better suited to my needs and just have this one be a friend.